Shrek: Spongebob Style! :D
by peaches2217
Summary: You all know of the greatest fairy tale never told. But have you seen it with your favorite undersea creatures? -WARNING: First 3 chapters were written nearly half a year ago and therefore suck. Survive those chappies, and the rest should be good. :D-
1. And Stay Out

**EDIT: 12-15-10 Updated. Maybe this version won't suck as much as the old chapter. (Although I'm fairly sure it's even shorter than the original... XD)**

**Hey! :D Yes, this is a parody of Shrek using Spongebob characters, so I SHOULD put it in the crossover section. However, crossovers are too hard to find, SO I'm just postin' it here. DON'T SUE ME PLEASE!**

**Short first chapter, yes, it's a start though! Please tell me what you think. Pwease?**

**_Spongebob Squarepants _and _Shrek_ don't belong to me. They belong to their rightful owners.**

**Enjoy! :D

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_Once upon a time, there was a lovely mermaid princess. She was locked away in a castle, for at birth, she was concieved with a horrible curse that took place each and every night. Her parents had her locked away in the highest room of the tallest tower, and there she stayed for many years, locked away and all alone. But every day, she refused to give up hope, for she waited for her true love to rescue her, and for true love's first kiss..._

"Pffft, yeah right! What a load of..."

Squidward tore the last page of the story book out of his and tossed it in the trash can. How did anyone expect anyone else to believe something like _that_? It was just plain ridiculous!

Still, he couldn't help but think to himself as he showered later that evening. In a way he could relate to that princess. Like her, he was all alone, no one to love or care about, no one that loved or cared about him.  
Why, you may ask? Because Squidward was an ogre-squid.

You've probably heard about ogres and such, but there _are_ crossbreads as well. Ogre-squids are generally of the none-hostile kind, but, like every other ogre, they're avoided all the same. Who could blame people, really? All ogres were hideous!

All in all, though, Squidward enjoyed his life of solitude. No annoying neighbors, nothing, just his easter island head and his otherwise abandonded coral reef. What more could a striking bachelor ask for?

o0o

"There's his home," a fish whispered under his breath, as the mob snuck up onto the easter island head. "C'mon, let's get him!" The young fish charged forward before getting caught by his collar and yanked back into the crowd.

"Are you crazy?" One of them asked. "Don't you know what this thing can do to you? It'll grind your bones for its bread!"

A hearty laugh behind made them freeze in terror.

"Actually," Squidward corrected, "that would be a giant. Ogres? Oh, they're much, much worse! They'll cut open your liver, drink your fluids, decapitate you and then filet what's left of your body! ...Actually, cook it golden-brown, and it's not half bad."

The crowd just stood and looked at him in fear for their lifes. Squidward slowly and dramatically reached into his back pocket, and when he returned with the object in his hands, a gasp of horror arose from the crowd.  
Squidward smiled menicingly at them, then began to play "When the Saints Go Marching In" in G minor on his clarinet.

There were loud screams of terror from the crowd, begging him to stop, please, anything, just stop and let them live! When Squidward had finally had enough, he scanned the crowd's terrified faces for a minute before leaning over and whispering, "This is the part where you run away."

The crowd was happy to oblige, and they scurried away on thier heels. The sight of them running away made Squidward laugh, and he spat out, "And _stay_ out!"

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**Like I said, short. BUT I'd like to thank my friend Pixie (known on here as The-Wolf-Keeper- Check out her stories!) for talkin' me into makin' Squiddy Shrek (it was gonna be Spongebob, but he's gonna be... Well, just wait 'n' see ^^)**

**Love, hate, otherwise, PLEASE!**

**CLICK IT. BY ALL MEANS, GIVE INTO THE TEMPTATION. :D  
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	2. Why Me?

**That's right, 2 chappies in one day. OH YEAH! :D (Heh, I just wrote chapter 2 today, I wrote chapter 1 last week...) It's longer this time, and you get to meet Donkey... Or should I say Spongebob? ^^**

**Enjoy! :D**

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Spongebob, a rare bread of donkey-sponge, shook nervously as he watched the table of guards get closer and closer. Screams and cries of other creatures were all around them, carts toting supposedly make-believe slaves off to their certain doom.

"M-M-Mrs. Puff, maybe we can work something out," the terrified little creature pled. "I swear I didn't mean to crash that boat into your house again! Just give me a few more tests and lessons, and I'll be driving in no time!"

"Not a chance," the puffer fish replied. "Those hoofs weren't made for driving… Besides, you're probably the only talking donkey-sponge in the world. I could get a good fortune outta you." Spongebob could only gulp.

Finally, they reached the table, and Spongebob's sure fate. "So, ma'am, what do we have here?"

"Well, you see, I have a talking donkey-sponge." Mrs. Puff jerked on the ropes that bind Spongebob's hoofs together.

"Alright, that's good for ten shillings… If you can prove he talks."

"Easy. Spongebob, speak." Spongebob, however, kept his mouth shut. "Heh… That's strange. He's usually quite the chatter box." She tugged on his rope. "Talk, you stupid dolt!"

"No, it's fine, I've seen enough. Get her outta my sight!" Mrs. Puff gasped as the guards grabbed her shoulders and tried to drag her away. As she flailed around in an attempt to break free, she knocked a bottle of pixie dust over... And right onto Spongebob.

Before he knew what was happening, Spongebob felt his hoofs leave the ground, and when he looked around him, he saw, sure enough, that he was flying. "OH YEAH!" He cried in ecstasy. "I CAN FLY!"

"He can fly! He can fly!" Giggled some nearby children as they watched in amusement.

"He... He can talk?" The head guard exclaimed, looking over at Mrs. Puff in disbelief. She could only glare in a way that said _Told ya so._

"Yup, that's right!" Spongebob flew higher up into the air, farther away from the guards. He was free! "You may have seen a house fly, you may have even seen a super fly, but I bet you've never seen a Sponge fly!" Closing his eyes, he laughed happily, only to be cut off when his hoofs hit the ground again.

_Curse pixie dust for having limited effects. _All he could think to do now was run.

"Stop that thing!" He heard a guard shout behind him, cueing him to run faster. After what felt like hours of fleeing, he was stopped suddenly by a flash of green.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" When Spongebob looked up, he saw a green creature with an octopus-like form (only with 6 arms and legs instead of 8) with weird tube-shaped ears glaring down at him. He looked mad... But as Spongebob heard the guards nearing, he could only think to hide behind the creature.

Squidward sent a confused look to the little donkey-sponge, only to be brought to attention by the sound of armor clashing, followed by, "Ogre!" Turning to look, he saw some guards running his way. Once they reached him, the head guard looked up at him, shaking, and pulled out a petition. "O-o-ogre... By order of Lord Plankton, I am authorized to put the both of you under arrest to be relocated to a designated area."

Squidward smirked. "Oh yeah? You and what army?" The guard looked behind him and saw that all of his men had run off. With one last gulp, the head guard ran off.

Spongebob poked his head from out behind the ogre and gapped. "Wow, that was impressive! Did you see those guards run?" Squidward took a deep, aggravated breath, then turned with a scowl.

"Are you talking to me-" But the donkey-sponge was gone. Confused, though thankful that the thing had left, he turned to go back to his reef, only to come face-to-face with...

"Wow, that was amazing! You really saved my butt back there! I'M FREE!"

Heaving a sigh, Squidward forced a smile. "Wonderful. Now why don't you go celebrate with your own friends?" He continued to walk on.

"Oh... Well, you see... I don't have any friends..." _Just walk on, Squidward. Don't turn around..._ "Hey, I know! I'll stick with you!" The donkey-sponge ran up beside him with a grin on his face. "You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the snot out of everyone who crosses us!"

Squidward could feel a major headache coming on. There was only one way to get rid of this thing... He pulled his clarinet out of his back pocket, licked his lips, then blew out a tune that made shivers go through Spongebob's spine- And not the good kind, either.

After he finished, Spongebob stood frozen, then he straightened up again. "Wow, that was fierce! And if you don't mind me saying, you definitely need some music lesson or something, because your playing STINKS!"

Squidward just growled and walked on. As he came to a fallen coral tree, however, the creature popped up again. "You know, this reminds me of that one time I-" Squidward slapped a tentacle over his mouth, but he just kept on like nothing was abnormal. When he uncovered his mouth, Spongebob started talking about eating rotten berries or something like that.

"WHY," Squidward finally managed to shout when he shut up, "are you following me?"

"You wanna know?" Spongebob stood upright, then hopped off of the coral branch, cleared his throat, and sang: "'Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me... My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me... But you gotta have frieeeeeeeends-"

"STOP SINGING!" Squidward held his head in agony. "It's no wonder you don't have any friends!"

Spongebob gasped, then smiled. "You know, only a true friend would be that truly honest!"

"Oh, for the love of- Little donkey-sponge! Take a look at me. What am I?"

Spongebob looked up at him, taking his figure in. "Really tall?"

"NO! I'm an ogre! You know, grab your pitchforks and torches! Doesn't that bother you?"

"Nope."

Squidward was shocked, he had to admit... He hadn't even hesitated in answering. "Really?"

"Really, really. I like you! What's your name?"

"Uh... Squidward."

"Hmm, Squidward... You know what I like about you, Squidward? You have that whole I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me attitude. I like that... I can respect that." Squidward could only sigh in heavy grief and walk the last few steps to his home. When Spongebob laid eyes on the broken-down coral reef, his front lip curled. "Ugh, who would want to live in a place like this?"

"This," Squidward replied in annoyance, "would be my home."

"Oh, and it's just lovely! You know, you're really quite the decorator. I love what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder! That is a _nice_ boulder." He looked around as he got closer to the house, observing the KEEP OUT signs. "You're not much of an entertainer, are you?"

"I like my privacy."

"Me too! You know, that's what we have in common. I hate it when someone's all up in your face, you try to give them a hint but they won't leave, then there's this big, awkward silence..." A big, awkward silence followed afterward, then, eyes getting big, Spongebob asked, "Can I stay with you?"

"Of course!"

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh, c'mon! I don't wanna go back there! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

"ALRIGHT!" Squidward yelled just to spare himself a headache. He opened his door. "But just for one night-"

Before he knew what hit him, Spongebob ran into the house. "Oh, yeah, this is gonna be great!" He exclaimed, stretching out on the couch. "We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm makin' waffles!" He looked around curiously. "So, uh... Where do I sleep?"

Squidward slapped his forehead and groaned. "OUTSIDE!"

Spongebob's cheerful face dropped when he heard this. "Oh, okay... I was kinda hopping this could be like a sleepover or something, but outside's cool too..." He walked outside, and as soon as he was out, Squidward slammed the door. Even that, however, couldn't drown out the nuisance's song. "I'm all alone... No one here beside me..." Squidward heaved another sigh and walked away from the door.

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**It's sorta late here right now... I'm tired... So I can't really say more than PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK! :D**

**CLICK IT. :D  
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	3. Don't Let Me Go

**Hey everyone! Guess what? I'M STILL ALIVE! :D NO, I haven't given up on this story. NO SIR. I just wanted to wait to continue it 'till I got to see Shrek the Musical (since I'll be including some songs from it in this story), and guess what I saw yesterday that, call me crazy, I thought was better than the movie? :D (Really, the last 15 minutes were, like, 20 times more adorable and romantic than the movie... AAAAEEEEEEEEE... ^^)**

**SO... I wrote this chappie a while back, actually. Hence why it sucks so much. :P THE NEXT CHAPTER I JUST FINISHED A FEW DAYS AGO, SO IT WILL BE MUCH BETTER, PEOPLE, I SWEAR.**

**Oh, and I'd also like to thank my reviewers- How could I ever get on without you guys? You make up half the motivation. :D (Yes, even you, Crazy4Creddie. Psst, by the way, does your apparent hate of my story have anything to do with the fact that I'm a Mighty Seddie Warrior? XD)**

**Enjoy if you can!**

_**Shrek, Spongebob, and "Don't Let Me Go" do not belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners.

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Later that night, Squidward sat alone at his table, a small but doable. The moment was set off with a cozy fire in the fireplace and a candle in the center of the table. This was the life... Living alone, no worries, no cares. And to top it all of, Spongebob had been quiet for nearly three hours now!

Just as he was about to take a bite, Squidward heard a rattling. _Speak of the devil..._ "I thought I told you to stay outside!" He shoved himself out of his chair and marched over to the door to open it and force the donkey-sponge back outside.

"But I _am_ outside!"

Squidward looked over to the at the window, and, sure enough, Spongebob was looking through with a confused look on his face. The rattling continued, and at this point, Squidward was out of ideas, so he just turned back to his table... Only to find three slugs on it, who wore black glasses and felt their way around with canes.

"It's a far stretch from the bog," one piped up.

"It's not home, but it'll have to do," another replied. Meanwhile, they tripped over jars and even knocked the candle down, nearly setting the place on fire (let's just say this particular flame was invulnerable to water). However, the fire was stopped when a casket was shoved onto the table.

An already confused Squidward looked over at seven dwarfs, who were still holding the end of the casket. They looked up at Squidward, paused, then waved nervously.

"Oh, no," Squidward shouted. "Dead broad OFF THE TABLE!"

"Where are we supposed to put her?" One asked innocently. "The bed's taken!"

Sure enough, when Squidward pulled back the curtain that led into his bedroom, there was a sea-wolf laying in his bed, wearing spectacles and a cotton granny dress, reading a book. Noticing that it was being watched,  
it looked up at Squidward and squinted its eyes. "What?"

Squidward wasn't sure what shocked him more- The fact that there was a sea-wolf laying in his bed or the fact that the sea-wolf was male. He grabbed the wolf by the collar and started dragging him toward the door. "I live in a broken-down coral reef. I'm a terrifying ogre-squid! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?"

Opening the door, he threw the sea-wolf out, and when he looked back up, he faced a horror of all horrors... His reef was invaded by thousands and thousands of make-believe creatures. Sea horses, pixies, mini-mermaids- What in the pacific ocean?

"What are you doing in my reef?"

Squidward's yelling caused an uneasy silence to settle over the crowd, and they all let out a gasp as turned to look at him in shock. If it weren't for the serious privacy invasion, Squidward would find it pretty funny. Right then, all he could do was throw a threatening glare at Spongebob, who was standing in front of them all.

"Don't look at me," Spongebob offered, stepping back a little bit, "I didn't invite them!"

"Well, gosh, no one invited us," a wooden puppet spoke up (although how puppets could talk without a puppeteer, Squidward had no idea). "We were forced to come here."

"By who?"

"Lord Plankton," another from the crowed said. "He huffed and he puffed and he... Signed an eviction notice."

So these things were here by force? But why there? Squidward had to see this Lord Plankton guy.

"Does anyone know where this Plankton guy is?"

Immediately, Spongebob started jumping up and down. "Oh, me, pick me! Me, me, me!"

"Does anyone ELSE know where to find him?"

The crowd was silent, and a few fingers were pointed, all while Spongebob jumped up and down shouting "ME! ME! ME!"

Finally, Squidward threw in the towel with a sigh. "Alright! Attention all... Fairytale things, do not get comfortable! Your welcome is officially worn out! In fact, I'm gonna see this Plankton guy right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from!"

There was another long silence, then the crowd erupted into applause and cheers. Squidward covered his ears and grimaced as some of them came up to him, hugged him, kissed his tentacles, and threw a flower-made cape over his shoulders (which he irritatedly threw off onto the ground).

Spongebob couldn't help but smile to himself. That was his new friend... His bud! When he looked up, however, he saw Squidward walking away.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked, catching up to the ogre-squid.

"To find Farquaad and get my land back."

"Without me?"

"You catch on fast!"

"But how will you know where to go?"

"A little creature gave me a map."

Spongebob sighed, knowing there was only one thing to do now. It almost always seemed to work for him...

"Hey, hey, hey!" He sang. "You gotta let me go with you! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" There was a pause, and Squidward didn't turn around, so Spongy went on, "Well... Maybe you do... But that's why we gotta stick together!"

Oh no, MORE singing? "Spongebob-"

"No no no no!" Spongebob ran in front of Squidward and waved his hoofs in front of his face. "Don't speak, don't speak, don't speaaaaaaaak..."

"I don't have time for this!" Squidward tried to make an escape, but Spongebob just caught up with him again and blocked his path.

"Just hear me out! I might surprise you. I'll be your friend when others despise you!" A now very agitated Squidward rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently. "Hey, now! Don't roll your eyes, stop with the mopin'! You need a pal- My calendar's open!"

While his eyes were closed as he held the note out, Squidward turned and fled in the opposite direction.

Somehow, though, he just couldn't keep out of harm's way.

"I'll bring you soup when you feel congested," Spongebob sang merrily as he followed Squidward around. "I'll bail you out when you get arrested!" He slipped his arm around Squidward's waist and looked out at imaginary foes. "I've got your back- Wha-wha-WHA!- when things get scary... And I'll shave it when it gets hairy!"

Where was he coming up with all this? Squidward shuddered at the thought of the little invertebrate holding a razor to his back and tried to walk on.

"Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go-oh-oh-oh-oh! You need me, you need me!"

"GO AWAY!" Was this guy deaf or something?

"I'll treat you right and never act shoddy. If you kill a man..." Spongebob sneakily tiptoed behind a kelp tree. "I'll hide the body!" Then he ran back out and excitedly jumped in front of Squidward. "What'd'ya say? You're not responding." A long silence passed, then Spongebob finally just sang, "I think we're bonding!

"Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go-oh-oh-oh-oh! You need me-ee!" Spongebob started shaking his tail in Squidward's face, and he looked away in disgust.

"You and me, we belong together!" As they walked, Spongebob started listing things off. "Like butter and brits, like kibbles and bits, like yin and yang, Stern and Trang, like Eng and Chang attached at the hip- But not an old lady hip that might break- I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake!"

What the heck? When would he take a hint?

"Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey, we'll stick together like that Velcro stuff- I'm the fuzzy side, you'll be the spiky! Like little kids in pajamas with those funny things at the bottoms, y'know, feeties! Like doughnuts and..." Oh, what went with doughnuts? "Doughnuts and... Diabetes!"

The ogre just didn't seem to be paying attention no matter what he did, though. _Time for drastic measures..._

Spongebob collapsed to the ground and grabbed his chest. "You can't leave me alone in the forest- *gasp* Order my casket, call up a florist! *gasp* I'm gonna die, I'm dying right now- *gasp* Everything's going black! *gasp* I'm going down a long dark tunnel..." He closed his eyes, fighting back a chuckle, but Squidward hadn't come over there yet to see if he was okay... Maybe he didn't believe him.

He shot up suddenly and looked around, faux fear written all over his face. "I hear harps... Who's playing that harp?" Pleading eyes looked up at Squidward, who was now standing over him, a bewildered look on his face. Spongebob stuck his hoof in front of his face. "Hold my hand..."

What did Squidward do? He walked away.

"Don't let me go!" Spongebob sang as loud as he could, chasing after him. "Don't let me go! Don't let me go! Don't let me go!" He cut in front of Squidward and blocked him off, no matter how he moved. "Hold me, hug me, take me, please! Nananananana, please don't let me go!"

Squidward had retreated to just walking around in circles to try and get the thing off his tail. Of course that was dumb idea. "I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you-" Spongebob took in a huge breath, then spread his arms out. "Don't let me go-oh, go-oh, go-oh... Don't let me g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go! Yeah!" With that, he got down on his knees in front of Squidward and widened his eyes once more.

There was really no way to get rid of this thing? "Alright, alright... Fine! But no singing."

"Can I whistle?"

"No."

"Can I hum?"

He thought for a moment, then sighed. "Alright." Squidward then turned and walked on.

Spongebob just watched for a moment, then he smirked.

_Works every time.

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_**See, didn't that suck? XD**

**Not to worry, for I'm off to post chapter 4! IT WILL GET BETTER, DANGIT!**

**Love, hate, (insert suckish _Pucca_ reference here),**

**CLICK IT.**

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	4. The Wrap of Plankton

**HUZZAH. Peaches here with a chappy that won't suck as much and will hopefully get this story back on the right track. :D**

**In this chappy, you will hear a reference to a character you've probably never heard of before named Shannon. Me and some of my friends created here last December as a love interest for Squidward. I swear, if at any point in the story she EVER gets to actin' like a Mary-Sue, NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY and I will try and change that. Heaven forbid we have ANOTHER Mary-Sue in the Spongebob section. :P Besides, I want y'all to enjoy this! So if you have ANY criticism or suggestions, let me know, n'kay? ^^**

_**Shrek and Spongebob don't belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners.**_

**Enjoy!

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"Lord Plankton! Lord Plankton!" Plankton turned his head to see one of his noblefish running in. "I bring great news!"

"Can it, buddy, let me finish my business here." Plankton turned back to the table (which had been lowered significantly, considering his microscopic size), where one of his edible, fictitious victims lay, coughing after being dunked repeatedly into a glass of milk. "I still haven't gotten an answer, and my patience is wearing thin! Where are the others?"

Without a moment's hesitation, the Gingerbread Man scowled, "Eat me!" and spit in Plankton's direction (which he quickly dodged before it completely knocked him out).

Lord Plankton was the harsh, unforgiving ruler of Bikini Bottom. The very name struck fear into the hearts of his citizens (or at least he thought), and more than anything, he absolutely HATED fairy-tale creatures. They invaded with his plan to create the perfect kingdom.

"Tell me where they are, or I'll-" Plankton grabbed for the gumdrop buttons on the thing's chest.

"NO! Not my buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons!"

"Then tell me, _where are the others?_"

With what seemed to be a sigh of defeat, the Gingerbread Man sat up with a bit of a strugle and started; "Okay, I'll tell you... Do you know... The Muffin Man?"

Plankton leaned in with intense interest. "The Muffin Man?"

"The Muffin Man."

"Yes, I know the Muffin Man... W-who lives on Drury Lane?"

"Well... She's married to the Muffin Man."

"The Muffin Man?"

"THE MUFFIN MAN!"

"So she's married to the Muffin Man..."

"Um... Lord Plankton?"

Heaving a sigh of frustration, Plankton turned to his executioner, Patrick, and said, "Get him out of my sight." Then he turned back to the noblefish. "It better be good this time!"

The noblefish nodded and bowed in front of Plankton, kneeling as far down as he could to reach close to eye-level. "We have scoured the land far and wide, and we have finally found the treasure which you most seek!"

The Lord's eye lit up and, with a gasp of delight, he exclaimed, "A pretty pony?"

A long, awkward silence filled the room before the noblefish finally said, "No, your highness... The magic computer."

"Oh... Um... Good enough! What are you watin' for? Bring it in!"

A few minutes later, a large computer screen was sitting in front of him, and a face appeared on the screen that looked like bright green lines. Plankton stepped forward in awe. "Magic computer..." Seeing as it didn't respond, he took a few steps forward. "Evening... Computer, computer, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?"

The screen rolled its eyes and said in a nasely female voice, "Please. You're not even a king."

Plankton took a deep breath and turned to Patrick. "Patrick?" Patrick then held up a shell phone, then threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

"W-what I meant was," the computer continued anxiously, "you're not a king _yet_."

Plankton leaned forward with interest. "Hmm, do tell me more..."

"All you have to do is marry a princess." There was a pause before it continued. "So..." The voice suddenly changed to that of an excited male announcer. "Just sit back and relax, m'lord, because it's time to play the hottest new game show in Bikini Bottom, _That's My Wife!_"

The sound of this announcment made some other noblefish that had been lingering in other parts of the room come running forward to the center as a picture of a girl holding a broom came up onto the screen.

"Batchlorette number one is a fantasy girl from a far-away land. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil stepsisters. So go ahead, see if the shoe fits! Please give it up for Cinderella!"

Plankton eyed the screen and nodded approvingly. "A housewife... That wouldn't be so bad!"

"Batchlorette number two," the computer continued, "is a cape-wearing girl with a real taste for apples. Kiss her frozen lips and find out what a real live wire she is! Let's welcome Snow White!"

The sight of the girl laying in a coffin excited Plankton somewhat. "Oh, how conveniant! She even comes in a little box!"

"And last, but certainly not least, is a firey martial-arts princess that's locked up in a tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon!" Fire flashed across the screen, making Plankton and his men shield their eyes. "But don't let that cool you off! She likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Laidies and gentlmen, Princess Shannon!"

A picture of a mermaid with lilac skin, a deep purple tail, and a green dress with golden embrodery, staring out of a window, a dazed look in her eye, popped up on the screen. So far, as far as looks were conserned, this one has to be his favorite.

"So, what will it be? Batchlorette number one, batchlorette number two, or batchlorette number three?"

The noblefish started shouting out their answers while Plankton considered. "Well, they're all so nice and have their advantadges..."

"Three!" Patrick yelled, holding up two fingers. "Pick number three, m'lord!"

Standing up straighter, Plankton turned back to the computer and shouted, "Number three!"

"Lord Plankton, you've chosen... Princess Shannon."

The room erupted into cheers as Plankton stared at the mermaid's picture. "She's perfect..."

Now the nasely female voice had returned. "Y'know, I really _should _warn you about what happens at night..."

"What, does she get a little frisky?" He turned back to his men with a chuckle.

"No, really, I think you might-"

"Bronson, call a florist, Patrick, call a stylist and book a boyband..." He jumped up and tapped his feet together in mid-air. "We're gonna have a queen!" And with that, he ran off.

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**Enjoy? Sorry for the suckish title. I couldn't think of anything else. ^,^'**

**You know me, you know the dang drill!**

**CLICK IT.**

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	5. I Know It's Today!

**'Ello again! Here with another chappy... Ah, would've posted it earlier, but it's been a LONG weekend. All I can say is...**

**"Was that I short joke? I believe that was a short joke!"  
"Alex?"  
"Yeah?"  
****"A person's a person no matter how small!" **

_**Shrek, Spongebob Squarepants,**_** and _I Know It's Today _do not belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners.**

**Enjoy!**

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Shannon stared longingly out of her tower's only window at the dark clouds overhead. How much longer was she gonna be stuck in this place? Taking a look back over at her dolls that she had been allowed to bring, the little mermaid smiled. She was already seven years old. She could take care of herself.

What had here parents told her? "Now, darling, don't be sad, the tower's not that bad... Just keep waiting, and someday you prince will come..." When? All that was given to her was her dolls, a stack of books, and enough food to last her for what seemed like an eternity. _Bare essentials..._ Well, at a time like this, she did what she always did when she was doubtful about anything; Read.

Swimming back over to her pile of dolls, she arranged them, sat them up in a circle, then, grabbing a book that looked a bit unfamiliar, sat in the middle of them. "Settle in, girls, it's story time!" She hugged the book to her chest. "Isn't this fun? It's just like a sleepover, only instead of pillow fights, there's a mad dragon who incenorates things!" There was a pause before she opened the book up and started from the first page.

"There's a princess in a tower," she sang (singing always made her feel better.). "Oh my gosh, that's just like me! Poor Rapunzel..." Examining the pictures, she drew back in mild disgust. "...Needs a haircut... But the witch won't set her free." _Don't worry, Rapunzel, I know how you feel..._ "She passes time by singing, like someone else I know." _Chuckle._ Now that she thought about it, she remembered reading part of this story while sitting on her dad's lap as a small child.

"As years go by, she sits and waits- As years go by?" She tossed a glance at her doll's disturbingly untroubled faces. "Uh-oh..." Maybe the next page would clear this whole mess up, she thought with a gulp as she turned the page. "A torturous existance..." She didn't remember this part! "She wishes she were DEAD?" Shannon shut her eyes tightly and looked away as she flipped a few more pages. "Skip ahead, skip ahead...!"  
When she dared to glance back down at the pictures, and to her relief, she saw the beautiful princess galloping away with a handsome prince. "But... In the end Rapunzel finds a millionare. The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair!" A smile eased its way across her face. The answers to everything could be found in these books, her mother had always said.

"So I know he'll appear, 'cause there are rules and there are strictures," she told her dolls. "I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight! My white knight and his steed will look just like these pictures! It won't be long now, I gaurentee!" She looked over at the wall where she left a mark for each day. "Day number... 23."  
It had already been nearly a month... Surely she wasn't in a situation JUST like Rapunzel's. Surely she'd get out of here sooner! Maybe even today...

"I know it's today... I know it's today!"

* * *

Shuffling through her pile of books for the 139,421th time (yes, over the years, she had counted.), Shannon finally found the one that she had always loved, the cover tattered and torn.

"Oh, here's a good one!" She exclaimed to her dolls as she sat down to read. "It's a classic!" Adjusting her dress a little bit, she opened it carefully and began. "There's a princess in a coma..." She leaned over to one of her doll's smilling face. "Glad it's her instead of me." She had this entire thing down by memory, as well as all of her stories, but every day, she possed new questions about them.

"Pretty maiden in a glass box... How, I wonder, does she pee?" She pondered that for a moment, then shrugged and moved on. Instead of looking at all the pages closley like she did whenever she was younger, she shuffled them and yawned. "Blah blah blah blah, poison apple, boring boring, evil queen. Filler filler, been there, read that! Seven shorties on the scene." Rolling her eyes, she flipped the pages more consistantly. "Skip ahead, skip ahead!"

When it finally got to the last page, Shannon leaned back a bit and sighed dreamily. "But... In the end the princess wakes up with a start. The prince is good at kissing and melting Snow White's heart!"

Once the book was back in its original spot, she stood and looked out her window just like she did every day (there wasn't much to do in that tower, in case you haven't caught on to that yet.). "So I know he'll appear, and his armor will be blinding! As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose." She swooned and put her hand on her forehead. This image was almost _too_ overwhelming!

"He'll propose on one knee, and our prenupt will be binding! About time we set the wedding date!" She paused, then continued, "Day number..." Looking over at her "calander" wall, she sighed, this time sadly. "958." But the window still gave her hope. When she looked out that window, she could see her Prince Charming, carrying her away on his noble steed.

"I know it's today... He'll show up today!"

* * *

Storytime was getting old real fast. At this point, Shannon was positive that if her dolls really could hear her, they had all these stories memorized, too, and were really beginning to question them as well. So instead of the same old "they-wait-and-live-happily-ever-after" stories, she'd be telling a new one today.

"There's a princess, any princess," she sang. "Take your pick, they're all like me! ...Not exactly, I'm still WAITING, they're out living happily!" She growled and flipped open her only copy of i_Cinderella_/i. "Ever after better get here, I want love in seconds flat! No one needs these middle bits..." Upon saying this, she jerked her hand back, which resulted in one of the pages tearing out. "Whoops, did I do that?"  
For some reason, though, that made her feel a little bit better... Suddenly she had an idea. "Cut the villians, cut the vamping, cut this fairytale!" She sang, getting more and more angry with each phrase, tearing the pages out one by one. "Cut the parrell and the pitfalls, cut the puppet in the whale!"

Now that _Cinderella_ had run out of pages, she grabbed more books and just ripped them right in half. "Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses, and the _waiting,_ the _waiting _the _**waiting**_, the _**waiting**_, the _**WAITING!**_" She screamed as she threw the last torn book to the ground in a fit of rage, then she straightened up and smiled.

"But I know... He'll appear..." Her smile faded a bit. "Though I seem a bit bipolar..." What had she done? Really, she needed to learn how to control her temper. Shaking her head as she picked up the sad remains of the books, she sang, "And I'm a vandle now as well, hope he won't mind." Once the books (or what was left of them) were all back in their pile, she looked out her window again, reflecting on the years trapped in this prison, and smiled.

"I'm a find... I'm a catch... And a very gifted bowler!" (Hey, she had to find SOMETHING to do besides read and stare out her window.) "It won't be long now, I gaurentee! Day number..." She dared to look at the wall marked with tallies, but instead of filling her with hope, it only brought her sadness.

_Day number 8,423..._

Shannon collapsed onto her bed and fought back tears. Twenty... Three... Years...

_There are rules and there are strictures..._

_He'll show up today..._

_I know it's today..._

_I know it's today..._

"Are you there, Neptune? It's me, Shannon..."

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**The original lyrics in that last line was "Are you there God? It's me, Fiona..." but since Neptune is the God of the sea I figured it'd fit better. XD**

**And there was muuuuuuusiiiiiic, and there were woooooooooooonderful rooooooseeeeeees, they tell meeeeeeeeeeeeee... Oh, sorry. I'm in a _Music Man_ mood... Uh, you know the drill!**

**CLICK IT.**

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	6. On The Road Much To Squiddy's Chagrin

**"In the moonliiiiiiiight, a man could sing it, in the moonliiiiiiight, and a fellow would know that his darling had heard every word of his song, with the moonlight helping along..."**

**AGH. I CANNOT GET THESE #*&ING SONGS OUTTA MY HEAD! *has mental breakdown***

**Peaches (my OC, not to be confused with me): Um, yeah, this happens a lot. Just give it a minute or two. She'll be fine. Sooooooo... On with the story, I guess? **

_**Shrek, Spongebob Squarepants,**_** and "The Travel Song" DO NOT BELONG TO HER, OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTFUL OWNERS.**

**Peaches: Heh... I've always wanted to do a disclaimer...! *dances***

* * *

"Here it is! Here it is!" Spongebob shouted happily, ears twitching as he ran ahead at full speed. "Lord Plankton's castle, see? There it is! Told ya I knew where it was!"

Squidward stepped forward and looked up at the massive establishment in front of him, towering several hundred feet above them. "It's a bit much, isn't it?" Then with a chuckle, he added, "You think he might be compensating for something?" Spongebob just gave him a confused look in return as they walked towards the deeper they got into the city, the more and more eerie it seemed. There were neat little houses lined up in rows, gift shops, everything... Except people.

"It's quiet," Squidward commented. "_Too_ quiet." That's when they started noticing the signs, hung up all over walls and doors and windows:

**BATTLE OF THE RUNWAY**

**An underwear modeling competition**

**WINNER GETS TO RESUCUE THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS SHANNON FROM THE FIREY KEEP OF THE DRAGON**

Below the announcements were pictures of fish striking ridiculous poses in nothing but their undergarments, accompanied by a pretty-in-purple mermaid dressed in a green and gold gown.

"Underwear?" Spongebob beamed. "I've always wanted to be an underwear model!" That only got him a smack on the back of the head as Squidward took the lead didn't take long to find; all they had to do was listen for the sound of flashing cameras and women swooning before the runway came into view. When they got there, about a dozen or so women were passed out on the ground, the rest red-faced and giggling or screaming at the top of their lungs. On the runway was a muscular red crustation strutting his stuff in his tighty-whities.

_Really?_

Squidward wasn't there to see some ridiculous competition. He was there to find Lord Plankton and get down to Spongebob could stop him, Squidward stormed up onto the stage. The crowd suddenly fell silent. A few gasped, then they erupted into more screams (the frightened ones, not the desperate ones). Spongebob gulped and clung to Squidward's shirt, scanning the crowd shakily. After a while, the commotion was cut through by a voice shouting, "Eww! What is this hideous thing on my runway?"

"Well, that's not very nice," Squidward inquired, looking around for the owner of the voice, then he looked down at Spongebob. "It's just a donkey-sponge!" He kept looking around, but the speaker seemed to be nowhere in sight... "Hey, big-shot, why don't 'cha-"

"Hey! Down here!" When Squidward looked down, he saw a speck-like creature with bouncy black hair, a poofy hat and red-and-gold clothing. "What are you doing? Can't you see we're having a competition here?"After a moment of contemplation, Squidward felt a tug on his sleeve, and when he looked down at Spongebob, the sponge was pointing toward the man-speck and mouthing _Lord Plankton_. So, that was the guy.

"Excuse me... Are you Lord Plankton?"

"Umm... Why, yes!" Plankton scratched the back of his head, then straightened up and smiled proudly. "Why? Does the name strike fear into your heart?"

"No, but the little hat does."

A pulse of rage surged through Plankton. How dare he? The most hideous creature in the land had just insulted him on his own turf! How-And that's when the idea hit him.

"Why, look at you, so clever, so smart-elecy!" Turning to the crowd, Plankton announced, "People of Bikini Bottom, I give you your champion!" An uncomfortable silence settled over the crowd once again while Squidward stuttered in objection."I'm sorry," Plankton whispered to him, "but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to remove your outerwear. These people came here for men in underwear, right?"

Squidward nearly spat in his tiny face. "What? No! I came here to talk to you!"

"Remove your clothes and we may talk!"

Finally, with a reluctant sigh, Squidward stripped down to his underwear. After another silence, the crowd went wild, throwing flowers at his feet and whistling. "Congratulations!" Plankton exclaimed. "You have won the honor of going on a perilous journey to rescue Bikini Bottom's new queen!"

"But that's NOT what I came here for!" Spongebob took an uncomfortable step back as Squidward yelled. "I came here to get my reef back!"

Plankton stopped short. "Sorry, _your_ reef?"

"Yeah, _my_ reef! The one _you_ dumped _your_ fairytale creatures on!"

Well, there was an obvious flaw in his plan. Thinking for a moment, Plankton finally said, "I'll make you a deal, ogre-squid-thing, if you can bring Princess Shannon back to me, I'll _give_ you your land back."

"Exactly the way it was?"

"Down to the last easter island head."

"And the squatters?"

"As good as gone."

Scanning his eyes across the crowd once more, Squidward gave a nod of his head. "Fair enough."As the crowd went wild again, Plankton handed Squidward a map, chuckling diabolically as he walked away. Just a few seconds later, though, Squidward came storming back onto the runway and, angrily grabbing his clothes, nodded once more and walked away.

* * *

"Oh, man, this is gonna be great! Squidward and Spongebob, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure!"Squidward winced as Spongebob babbled on. What was worse was the fact that, judging by the map, this castle was a two-day's journey away if they stopped to camp every night, which he assumed Spongebob would want to do.

"You know, this may turn out to be the longest day of my entire life..." Well, that was the wrong thing to say, so it goes.

Spongebob's ears perked up again as he exclaimed, "Ooh! Luckily, I have the perfect remedy for that!"

Squidward didn't even have to ask. "N-no! Spongebob, please! I'm begging you-"

"Sing a song, yes, a travel song, when you gotta go somewhere," Spongebob sang, throwing a rhythm into his step. "'Cause the fun is getting there, yeah!" He pause suddenly, nearly making Squidward trip over his own feet. "Oh, what the heck, I must confess; I LOVE a road trip!" Spongebob started up again, practically skipping. "Sing a song, hit the trail, forget the maps, forget the guides! Before you know it, you've made strides with me!"As if the thought of this trip wasn't bad enough. Before he had much of a chance to groan, Squidward felt Spongebob's arm loop through his. "And I know all I need all along is a path and a pal and a song, so I'm singin' and I'm pallin' with you!" He smiled up at the grumpy ogre-squid. "See? Makes the time go by faster!"

"Why me?" Squidward asked no one in particular. "Why me?"

"This is nice," Spongebob sighed.

"Tell me, what was my crime?'

"We are strollin'!"

"As chatty as a scallop, more annoying than a mime...!"

"Squidward, look!" Spongebob pointed off into the distance. "That snail's wearing boots! Isn't that crazy?"

Squidward's mind was far from boot-wearing snails. "Why me? Why me? A simple answer would be fine..."

"Mmm, this is good cardio!"

"WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME A SIGN?"

"Hey look, a sign!" Squidward looked up and groaned when he saw the sign; YUNITA PAL AVE.

"Oh, what did I do to deserve this, honestly? This ass* of mine is asinine! WHY ME?"

With a giggle, Spongebob hopped up into the air and tapped his hoofs together. "Oh man, what could be better than this?"And so ensued the longest 76 hours of Squidward's life.

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***Considering Spongebob is part donkey, ass would be a correct term here. Besides, "This sponge of mine is asinine..." just doesn't have the same ring, does it?**

**Thank you to my beloved OC, Peaches, for filling in for me while in the midst of a mental breakdown. Oh, and HAPPY 1st/14th BIRTHDAY, PEACHES! :D Ah... A year already... They grow up so fast! :')**

**AND NOW ANOTHER SONG FROM MERIDETH WILLSON'S _THE MUSIC MAN_:**

**"Oh, what can I do, my dear, to catch your ear? I love you madly, madly, madame librarian, Marian! Heaven help us if the library caught on fire, and the volunteer hose brigademen had to whisper the news to Maaaaaaaaaarian..."**

**AGH. CANNONT... GET... SONGS... OUTTA... HEAD...!**

**Umm... Anyway...**

**CLICK IT. YES.**

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	7. The Dragon's Keeper

****

**Guess what I learned today? Fanfiction is unblocked on my school's computers! ^^ SO as I post this, I'm actually sitting in 3rd period... Not sure how much longer I have of free time, so I'll quit stallin' and get to the story.**

_**Shrek, Spongebob Squarepants, "Travel Song (Reprise)", and "Donkey Pot Pie" do not belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners.**_

**Enjoy! :D**

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"...And you know what else is delicious? Krabby Patties. I mean, have you ever walked up to a person and said, 'Hey, let's go get some Krabby Patties!' and they say, 'No way, I don't like Krabby Patties!'? No, because Krabby Patties are delicious!"

Spongebob was a slow traveler, since he always wanted to stop and see the sights, so they had been on the road for three torturous, song-filled days now. That thing was not normal... How Squidward had managed to survive, he honestly had no idea.

"And another thing, I-" Spongebob stopped and sniffed the air, then gagged and covered his nose. "Agh, Squidward, you should _really_ warn me before you just go off and let one rip like that! My mouth was open and _everything!_"

Squidward smelled it, too... But it wasn't _that_, not by any means... "Spongebob, if that was me, you'd probably be dead." He sniffed the air for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "It's brimstone. We must be getting close." It took a moment for this to sink in, and then it hit him. They were almost there! It wouldn't be long before he could get rid of Spongebob and get his land back! Oh, happy day!

"Yeah, yeah, sure, brimstone," Spongebob rolled his eyes as they walked on.

Before they knew it, they were standing in front of a gigantic castle, separated only by a bridge over a lake of lava.

"Sure, it's big enough," Squidward chuckled, "but look at the location!" Without thinking twice, he stepped onto a bridge.

"Um... S-Squidward? A-are you sure this is... Safe?" Spongebob cautiously stepped his way onto the bridge.

"Of course it's not." He could practically see Spongebob's face going pale, so he added, "It's just strong enough to get us across and back later on." Spongebob still refused to move, so, with a heaving sigh of frustration, Squidward said, "Just don't look down, okay?"

Spongebob dared to move a step or two. "R-r-right... Don't look down... Don't look down..." He began making his way across at a slow, steady pace. "S-s-sing a song, yes, a travel song, when you gotta get across... Show that big dragon who's boss..."

_Of course, _Squidward thought. Leave it to Spongebob to encourage himself in song.

There was suddenly a loud _CRRRRACK,_ followed by a shout; "Squidward! I'm looking down!" When Squidward turned to see what had happened, he saw that Spongebob had leapt over a broken plank and was now clinging to a post, staring down into the lake of lava with wide, terrified eyes. "I-I-I can't do it, Squidward! Oh Neptune, I can't do it! G-go on without me!"

Okay, now he was just being ridiculous. "Spongebob, it's okay, you're almost half way there!" Spongebob still didn't move, only squeezed his eyes shut and shook violently. "Spongebob," he repeated, making his way over to the pitiful thing. "Spongebob, get up! Get up! Remember? 'Sing a song, gotta get across...' or whatever it was?" Now he was angry at the donkey-sponge's resistance. "Spongebob, get up, you little trilobite!" He grabbed his hoof and tried to pull him up.

Suddenly, he heard Spongebob whisper something barely audible, so he leaned in and asked, "What was that?"

Trembling, Spongebob repeated in a familiar tune, "D-d-don't let me go... D-d-d-d-don't let me go..."

Really, now? Well, if it was the only way to get him to go on... "I..." Squidward started awkwardly. "...Won't let you go..."

Spongebob opened his eyes and glanced up at Squidward, eyes teary, arms shaking. Then, after a minute or two, he slowly rose up and inched his way along the bridge, holding tightly to Squidward's hand. "Sing a song... Hit the bridge... Don't look down... Soon you'll see... B-before you know it, you're half way with me..."

It wasn't long before Spongebob got his skip back, and he was literally prancing to the end of the bridge. "Oh, what did I do to diserve a pal you?" He sang as he let go of Squidward's hand and flipped a back flip on solid ground. "I'm singin', and I'm pallin', with-"

"That'll do, Spongebob," Squidward sighed, collapsing on the ground next to him. "That'll do."

o0o

"So where is this fiery pain in the neck, anyway?"

"In the highest room of the tallest tower, waiting for us to rescue her."

"I was talking about the dragon, Squidward."

"Oh... Well, it doesn't say that on here," Squidward shrugged, looking over the pamphlet on Princess Shannon that Plankton had given him again.

"Does it say anything else about this girl?"

"Well, apparently she likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain."

"Ahh... Cool!"

Squidward had dawned a helmet (to hide the ears, he had said- Didn't want the princess to think a big, bad ogre was coming to eat her and jump out the window) and was looking around for the tower. "Ah, there it is!" he exclaimed as he looked up at a high, lighted window. I'll find the stairs, and you can stay here 'till I get back."

"W-wait, stay... Here?" Squidward heard the squeak in Spongebob's voice, so he said, "Unless you'd like to fight a dragon by yourself while I find the princess."

"Ah, no thanks, I'm good!" He chuckled as Squidward walked off. What was there to do in a tower like this on his own, talk to the skeletons? There really wasn't much- Wait- _SKELETONS?_

Before he could think twice, panic overtook Spongebob, and he broke into a run. But everywhere he went, rooms and rooms of fish skeletons, crab and lobster shells, and all other kinds of remains were scattered everywhere. Squidward had told him to be quiet, but he couldn't help it; he let out a loud scream as he ran away.

He wasn't sure how long he was running in no particular direction, but eventually he doubled over, panting in exhaustion. The cold air made his breath come up in puffs of smoke, and...

Wait... It was spring... How could his breath be...?

He got his answer just a few short moments later when he heard a low growl.

"D... D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d..." Spongebob stuttered, pupils tiny little specks lost in his big eyes. "D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-DRAGON! SQUIDWARD! HELP!" Without looking behind him, he made a break for the opposite end of the room. This proved not the least bit helpful, though; turns out the dragon was on the other side of the room.

Spongebob quivered as the gigantic thing came crawling out, spreading its wings... Well, now that it was in good light, he could see that it was a rather odd combination. It had the wings of a dragon, yet the rest of its characteristics resembled... Oh, he had read about it once before... A... A land squirrel?

Naturally, his first reaction was to wander how it could breath underwater. But as it charged for him, he threw that thought into the back of his mind for later and tried to run away again. He had nearly forgotten that land squirrels were very quick, and in a flash and the blink of an eye, he was in its clutches.

"N-n-no!" Spongebob pled. "Please, maybe we could make a compromise? How about if you let me go, I'll make you a couple of Krabby Patties? Everyone loves Krabby Patties, right?" The dragon-squirrel's roar shrunk his hopes even more. "Okay, okay! Krabby Patties AND a free soda! A-a-anyhting else?"

The gaze the thing was giving him held some kind of a secret message... Now he could see that this thing was a girl (based on its eyelashes and… Feminine features), but other than that, Spongebob was too scared to see anything behind that gaze other than _OMNOMNOMNOMNOM_. He was too young to die like this! And he still didn't know how to drive!

Then it occurred to him... What had convinced Squidward to let him tag along? What had made the past three days so fun and adventurous? What had gotten him across that bridge? It all made perfect sense.

He was gonna have to sing his way out of this.

"Oh, my," he began, looking for something to sing about. He found it in just a few short seconds; the creature's two buck teeth, almost just like his. "M-m-my, what big teeth you have," he sang nervously, hurriedly coming up with a tune. "They're so… Sparkling white!" It was beginning to work; the dragon-squirrel lost that intent gaze and was looking at him with curiosity. Smirking to himself, he went on. "I bet you hear this from all of your food, but you must bleach at night!"

No, no, no, he _couldn't_ be running out of ideas just yet! He had to find something else… That's when her breath hit his nose, and he coughed at the strong smell of acorns. "I-is that a hint of minty freshness? Oh, I am scared to death!" It… Wouldn't hurt to get just a bit flirty, would it? Girls liked guys who flirted… Or at least he assumed as he cozzied up closer. "Y'know, I like a girl with a dazzling smile and Tic-Tac on her breath." Closing his eyes, he hummed a couple of notes more and then looked back up at her with a sweet smile.

"So… How about those Krabby Patties?"

Apparently, that wasn't what she had in mind. Instead, Spongebob found himself gasping in surprise as she picked him up with her paws and carried him away.

_Oh, crap._

_

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**Is it just me, or did this chapter seem REALLY short? Hmm... **_

**And actually, the bridge scene I used WAS from the musical as opposed to the movie. In the musical (when I went to see it, anyway), Donkey was, like, 10 times more pathetic than he was in the movie, and that cracked me up for some reason. XD**

**And now you wanna know 2 movies I REALLY wanna see again? _Megamind_ and _The Music Man_. Whaaaaaaaaaaat? They were both so sweet and fun and full of fluff and they were made 48 years apart! "I misplaced my car... The night you dumped me... Alone... In the rain." And I haven't read that much _Music Man_ fanfiction on here, but I HAVE read a lot of Megamind fanfiction and I ADORED most of it! (If the authors of "Acceptance", "The Interview", "Honesty", "His Experiment", "Human Rituals", "The Better Side of Bad", "Some Lucky Day", "Black Friday", "Temptress", "Baby Be Bad", and "Laughter" are reading this, I BOW TO YOUR SUPERIOROSITY. *bows*)**

**...ANYWHO.**

**For the love of evil ninjas in tutus, you know what to do by now! Praise, flames, critisism, ANYTHING'S WELCOME, JUST...**

**CLICK IT.**

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	8. How a Dream Comes True?

**Hellu again! :D Guess what? I GET TO SEE MEGAMIND AGAIN ON FRIDAY. :D**

***cricket***

**Oh, c'mon, you could at least PRETEND like you're happy for me. XD**

**SO, I'd like to thank my awesome buddy Pixie (I said her username's TheWolfKeeper- Now it's BlackRoseForever, sorry for the mix-up, Pix ^^;) for the review on the last chapter and, of course, for inspiring me to write this in the first place. KEEP ON BEIN' EPIC, BUDDEH! :D**

**So here's what I'm fairly sure is the longest chapter so far (YAY FOR LONG CHAPPIES. :D). BE PREPARED FOR AWESOMENESS. (Is suddenly in a Kung Fu Panda mood)**

_**Shrek, Spongebob Squarepants, and "This is How a Dream Comes True" do not belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners.**_

_**Shannon, however, DOES belong to me (and Jingle, GG, Pixie, Deli, and anyone else who helped create her. :D)**_

**Enjoy!**

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Shannon stared out her window as she did every day. This was really beginning to get old... She didn't have much else to do now other than sing "I know it's today, ooooohhh, I know it's today, oooooohhh," over and over again. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't just jump out of that window...

"Hello? I-*pant*is anyone up there?"

Shannon froze in place. Could it be...? Placing her ear against the locked door leading to the mocking flight of stairs she had tried so many times to reach, she listend, and there it was again.

"Oh, Neptune... I should've worn my cup...!"

It was! It was! Her parents had been right! Her prince! He was here! As quickly as she could, she gathered all of her things together in a neat pile, placed a hankerchief on her wrist, grabbed the bouquet of fake flowers, and, as she lay herself down on her cot, said a shor farwell to her dolls and books. She heared a lock turning, and with one last look out the window, she clossed her eyes and lay her head back.

o0o

Finally, after 8,492 steps, Squidward was at the door. Wait- There was a door? Why didn't this princess just rescue herself? _Probably too weak to get the door unlocked_, he thought with a chuckle as he pulled it open and stepped inside.

There she was, alright. Lilac skin, bright purple tail, green-and-gold gown, bouquet of flowers, and there was the window the pamphlet showed her looking out of, too.

"Great," he muttered under his breath, "I got one of the snoozers." Walking over to her, he examined her face. Was it always locked in a pucker...?

"Wake up!" he growled, shaking her. The princess awoke with a startled gasp, then glared up at him.

"What?"

"Are you Princess Shannon?"

In her shock at the knight's unusual behavior, she had almost gotten mad at him. Recomposing herself, she smiled up at him. "I am... Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me!"

"Oh, well that's nice. Now let's go."

Wait- What? Just like that? Surely he was just joking... None of her story books said that the prince would be in a rush to go.

"B-but wait!" she cried, which stopped him for a moment or two. "Why go now? I don't even know your name!"

Squidward growled in frustration. "Squidward."

Ah, NOW things were beginning to go right! "Sir Squidward," she sighed dreamily, taking the hankerchief off of her wrist. "Sir Squidward, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my graditude."

Squidward took it without a moment's hesitation, wipped his neck, then threw it backwards into the princess' face as he looked around. "Thanks, now where's the exit?"

Well, so much for romantic scene. Sighing in dissapointment, Shannon peeled the dirty hankerchief off of her face and tucked it back onto her wrist, just in case he decided he wanted it later. "Don't you have a rope?" Based on the look of confussion on his face, she assumed not. She _knew_ she should've grown her hair out... "Well, then, we'll just have to go back the way you came."

Squidward's mouth hung open for a moment, then he started stuttering in proteset as he looked at her, at the stairs, then back again. "I-I-but I just- I-It's a-I-Just a-we-I-Oh, come on!" He collapsed onto the ground at the thought of having to go back down the 8,284 or however many stairs with a priss in tow.

Shannon's lifelong hopes were nearly crushed when she saw how doubtful her prince was. But maybe he was a new knight... If he had managed to get this far, then he ihad/i to be her true love. She just had to help him get into the mood!

"Now holdest on, sir Squidward," Shannon pleaded, grabbing his arm and helping him up. "Don't you want to savor this moment? This be-ith our first meeting." Placing the back of her hand on her forehead and tilting her head back, she let out a dreamy sigh. "It must be a wonderful and romantic scene..." A giggle escaped her lips as she began twirling around in circles.

_Not again..._ Squidward groaned at the thought of another song. What was he, a crackpot magnet?

"This is how a dream comes true, this is how I pictured you," she sang dreamily, blinking her eyelashes at Squidward. "Climbing in to rescue me, this was always meant to be."

It was official- Squidward was a crack pot magnet.

"That's very lovely, now let's-"

"This is how the scene must go, you standing..." Shannon observed the spot Squidward was standing in, then grabbed his shoulders and relocated him to a spot under the light of the window. "..._There_, the light just so." She smiled, closed her eyes, and held her hand out to him. "Then you smile and gaze at me, take my hand on bended knee."

Squidward just stood there, dumb-founded. What in Neptune's name was this mermaid doing? Seeing that he was still standing straight, Shannon cleared her throat and repeated: "Bended knee." But her rescuer was still stiff as a piece of coral. Getting impatient, she grabbed his shoulders again and, slamming him to the ground, repeated, "Bended knee!"

A loud CRACK was heard, and Squidward let out an "Ow!"

Shannon blushed. "Sorry." She quickly closed her eyes again, let a smile stretch across her face again, and held her hand back out. "And though we've only met, somehow I always knew it would look like this... When dreams come true..."

As if an answer to his prayers, Squidward heard a loud cry cutting into her song. "SQUIDWAAAAAAAAAAARD!" He sighed, silently thanking Neptune, then grabbed Shannon's hand and ran back down the long, twisty flight of stairs. And somehow, he had gotten his energy back. Maybe since it was easier to run down a flight of stairs than up.

"Brave sir knight, slow down a bit," Shannon sang, struggling to keep up with him, waving her tail as furiously as she could. "Shut-in girls are delicate! I've longed for this my whole life long, now you're doing it all wrong!"

"Oh, yeah? How so?" Just for her, Squidward ran even faster.

She stumbled, then caught her breath and swam as fast as she could. "Down a rope a steed awaits, that's what every story states! Riding over rough terrain, past the dragon you have slay-en." Squidward stopped in his tracks, sending her another confused look. Maybe he hadn't heard her... "You have slay-en." When he still didn't say anything, she repeated caustiously, "You have slay-en...?"

"Oh, that. That's on my to-do list."

"WHAT?" While she was exclaiming, Squidward grabbed her hand again and ran toward Spongebob's voice, which was still calling out his name. Eventually, he managed to find his companion, who was in the clutches of the dragon, who had a rather odd resembalance to a land squirrel.

"Listen," Spongebob was saying, "I mean, you're pretty and I like you and all, but... I just don't think I'm ready for this... Type of relationship... Does this castle have an adress? You could give me the address and I could write to you... N-n-no! I can't! I'm sorry! I just can't! Please listen to me...!"

What had that thing gotten himself into now...? Squidward didn't have much time to ponder that, though. He was running on a burst of energy that was sure to die out soon.

"Spongebob! This way!"

Spongebob looked toward Squidward at the same time the dragon-squirrel dropped him. Rubbing his slightly injured arm, Spongebob quickly recovered enough to scurry toward the group. The dragon-squirrel (she has a name, in case you were wondering- Sandy) watched first in shock than in anger as the three ran away. These people... They were kidnapping her true love! Letting out a roar of rage, she began to charge after them.

Meanwhile, Squidward, Shannon, and Spongebob were high-tailing it for the exit. Spongebob turned his head and examined Shannon with a grin. "Hey, Squidward, I see you found the princess! Hi, princess!"

Shannon stopped swimming for a moment and gasped. "It talks..."

"Yeah, but try getting him to shut up. That's the trick." They heard a roar behind them, and they all picked up the pace.

Well, Shannon had met her prince, his steed, and now they were running from the dragon-squirrel when it was supposed to be dead. What an interesting day this had been!

"Are you there, Neptune?" she sang to the ceiling. "It's me, Shannon..."

"Less praying," Squidward panted, "more running!"

Oh yeah, she had almost forgotten that she was being rescued! She should enjoy this! Giggling again, Shannon ran along with them, but with a skip in her swim. "Tralalalala..."

"This way instead!" Squidward shouted at the sight of another bone-filled room.

"Tralalalala..."

"Door ahead!"

Door ahead! At long last, she was saved! "In the end, remember, all your dreams come !" Her joyous melody had turned into a scream as the dragon-squirrel came into view, storming at them angrily. Squidward ran ahead, then flung Spongebob and Shannon toward the door.

"Get out," he gasped, "I'll take care of the dragon."

Spongebob's hoof found Shannon's hand and he ran out the gate with her as she sang in a loud voice, off-pitch with fear. "Say your affirmations and love will come to you, if you can concieve it, believe it, achive it!"

Spongebob gasped as they came upon the bridge. Not again...! He could feel the heat radiating toward his face. There was no guarantee that he would make it across alive, now that Squidward was behind them... But then he looked up at the princess and noticed her terrified expression. She was humming nervously, sweating as she looked ahead.

Spongebob turned again and looked at the rickety bridge. Now wasn't the time for fear to get in the way! He had to get the princess to safety, even if it meant his own life! With one last deep breath, he let out a loud yell and charged forward, flashes of red, orange, and yellow flying up around him...

Squidward looked around, searching for something to trap the dragon-squirrel. There wasn't anything in sight, not that he could see, anyway... Well, that kinda defeated the purpose, didn't it? And then he saw it. A lever. He wasn't quite sure what it would do, but he could sure find out!

Wrapping his tentacle around it, he looked over his shoulder as the dragon-squirrel came closer... And closer... And closer... And just as it got within feet of him, he pulled the lever and dove under the gate...

"Pink ponies, happy sky, pink ponies, happy sky," Shannon sang in a slightly (okay, extremely) nervous whine as she followed Spongebob across the bridge, squeazing her eyes shut (unaware that Spongebob was doing just the same). "Pink ponies, happy sky, oh my God, we're gonna die, pink ponies, happy sky, OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

And neither of them were very sure how it happened, but they were suddenly on solid ground again.

When Shannon opened her eyes, she saw that Spongebob was on the ground, panting and shaking. She smiled a bit to herself. Not a white, majestic seahorse as her storybooks had indicated, but a noble steed, nonetheless.

"Well, I think that did it!"

Shannon jumped as she saw Squidward running up to them just as the bridge collapsed behind him. And when she looked further back, she saw the dragon-squirrel trapped behing the castle gates, roaring in anger, then in sadness.

It was just as her stories had foretold... And to think she had almost given up on them!

"This is how I pictured it..." She looked back over at the two heros, both collapsed on the ground now. "...More or less, I must admit... A thumping in my heart... A life about to start..." A smile spread across her face once more. "I knew this day would come, and you would find your way! At last, my dream comes true!" Pumping her fists into the air, she shouted, "I knew, I knew, I KNEW it would be today!"

Once the other two had gathered their wits back, Shannon gushed over to them, hands clasped over her heart. "Oh, you've done it, you've rescued me! You're amazing, you're wonderful, you're... A bit unorthidoxed, I'll admit..." She stood Squidward up and positioned his arms to where he was striking a 'masculine man' pose.

"B-but thy deed is great and thy heart is pure... I am eternally in your debt."

"I'm in enough debt as it is, I don't need more!" Squidward grummbled at the hoplessly confused princess as he put his arms back down by his side.

Obviously she didn't hear that part. "And, of course, where would a brave knight such as yourself be without his noble steed?"

Spongebob's ears perked up, then he smirked over at Squidward. "Hope you heard that, Squidward, she called me a noble steed! She thinks I'm a isteed/i!"

Squidward just rolled his eyes.

"The battle is won," Shannon sighed at Squidward. "You may remove your helmet."

"Um... No thanks, we should really get on the move."

"But... We haven't even had time to be alone! And... How will you kiss me?"

"W-what?" Squidward pulled the pamphlet out of his pocket and gave it a twice-over. "That wasn't in the pamphlet!"

"Maybe it's a perk?" Spongebob suggested.

"No," Shannon laughed, "It's destiny! Oh, you must _surely_ know how it goes: A princess, locked away in a tower, is rescued by her true love..." A haze came over her eyes. "And then they share true love's first kiss..."

A stunned silence came over the boys before Spongebob piped up, "Wait, you think Squidward is your... True love?"

"Yes!"

And the next moment, the two were rolling on the ground, Spongebob clutching his stomach, Squidward banging on the ground.

"Listen," he chuckled, "Let's just say I'm not really your type, okay, princess?"

"Of course you are, you're my rescuer!" Shannon was starting to get annoyed with him now. "Now take off the helmet!"

"No."

"Take it off!"

"I said no, and if-"

"_**NOW!**_"

"Alright!" Squidward huffed and mimicked a bow. "As you wish, your highness... But I warned you."

He _had_ warned her. But how was she to know it'd be as bad as, oh, say, the fact that her rescuer turned out to be an ogre-squid?

"Oh," Squidward laughed when he saw the bewildered expression on her face, "You were excpecting Prince Charming?"

"Well... Yes, actually..." She let out a loud groan of frustration and plopped down on the ground. "This isn't right! Y-you're not supposed to be an ogre!"

"Look," he started before giving her a chance to go into angst mode, "I'm not your 'true love' or whatever you call it. I was sent to rescue you by Lord Plankton."

"Then why, might I ask, didn't he come and rescue me himself?"

"Good question! Let's ask him when we get there."

"NO!" Both of the boys jumped at her fierce tone. "I need to be rescued by me _true love_. So you can tell this Lord Plankton guy that if he wants to rescue me, I'll be waiting for him right here!"

Ohh, the fiesty kind indeed. Only one way to get this spoiled princess to come along. Walking over to where she sat, Squidward grabbed her by her waist and swung her over his shoulder as she let out a cry of surprise. Really, he looked like he weighed almost as much as she did, maybe less, so the fact that he could do this shocked her for a minute. It was only a few seconds, though, before she started screaming her protests and banging her fists against his back.

"Coming, Spongebob?" Squidward went on ahead before he got an answer, and Spongebob looked at the princess in awe. _No ordinary princess, alright, _he thought with a chuckle as he followed behing.

* * *

**Now I feel like pairing up Spongebob and the bridge just 'cuz he's so afraid of it. Dont' worry Spongebob, I'll reunite the two of you eventually... *insert evil laugh emoticon here***

**Again, flames, prasie, critisism, ANYTHING. I just wanna know what you think ^^**

**So CLICK IT. :D**

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	9. Measuring Up

**Tehe. This is officially the 3rd chappy I've posted while in school. :D**

**So, just a shorter little chapter to make up for that 3,000+ chappy I posted... Was it yesterday? Or Tuesday? Geh... I can't remember. XD**

**_Spongebob Squarepants and Shrek do not belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners._**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Shannon had finally given up on trying to escape. It was clear that Squidward refuesed to put her down for even a small drink ("There's lots of water under the ocean," he had said. "Just breath.") Besides, Spongebob had kept her company, and she was starting to enjoy him and answering his questions. And besides, at least she was outside. So THAT'S what a tree looked like...

"Okay, okay, here's another." Spongebob twiddled his hoofs as he spoke. "Say there's this girl, well, she really likes you, and she's pretty and all that, but you're just not ready to be in a relationship just yet... How do you tell her that without, say, getting burned to a crisp and eaten with a side of acorns?"

Shannon smiled in contentment at his slightly panicked expression. He WAS pretty cute. "Just tell her she's not your true love! Every knowest what happens when-" She was cut off as the ground suddenly rushed up to meet her back, nearly knocking all of the wind out of her.

"Yeesh, princess, you're heavier than I expected," Squidward groaned, rubbing his shoulders. "How much food did you have up in that tower with you, anyway?"

Growling, Shannon looked back over to Spongebob, who was glancing between the two nervously, then sighed. "The sooner we get to Bikini Bottom, the better."

"Oh, you're gonna love it there, princess!" Spongebob lied down on his back and smiled. "The water's never been so clean anywhere else!"

"Yes... And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Plankton? What's he like?" The name "Plankton" gave Shannon temporary images of a short, green fish, but she pushed these images aside with fantasies of a masculine hero-type in spandex. _Ahh, spandex..._

"Let me put it this way," Squidward started, giving the princess a smile. "Men of Plankton's stature are in... _Short_ supply."

Shannon's mouth went agape. "Ahh, really?" She stared off into space dreamily.

"I dunno, Squidward," Spongebob chuckled, "there are those think _little_ of him."

"Well, he IS a _tiny_ bit intimidating!"

"Well he must be!" Shannon sighed dreamily again, until she noticed that the boys had started chuckling loudly. "What's so funny?"

Squidward held his tentacle over his mouth, then he moved it just long enough to speak. "I'm just saying... You might wanna _lower_ your expectations a bit!"

"Yeah," Spongebob piped, "like, six feet or so!"

And with this, they were both on the ground laughing their heads off.

"Oh, shut up," Shannon scowled angrily, "you're just jealous that you two could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Plankton!"

Squidward collected himself from the ground and fought back another chortle. "Sure, princess, we'll let you do the _measuring_ when you meet him tomorrow."

Spongebob, joining him from the ground, laughed once more and added, "If you have a ruler, anyway!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait- Tomorrow?" Shannon looked over at the sun and saw it slowly ducking behind the sea floor. Panic fled through her body. "It'll take that long? Don't you think we should, oh, say, set up camp somewhere?"

"No, that'll only take longer. Now let's go, I know you're all prim and proper, but you haven't walked the entire time, so you can at least cover some ground tonight." Squidward turned on his heels with a sigh of frustration and walked on.

"But Sir- I mean, ogre-squid... Squoger?" Why hadn't anyone thought of combining the names of crossbreeds, anyway? It would make this so much easier... "W-whatever...! There's robbers in the woods, aren't there?"

"Woah, woah, WOAH, Squidward," Spongebob spoke, poking Squidward in the arm, eyes shifting around. "Y'know, camp's starting to sound like a good idea now that I think of it!"

"Please," Squidward sighed again, pointing to his clarinet (which he had kept in his back pocket). "I'm scarier than anything we'll come across-"

"FIND ME SOMEWHERE TO CAMP **_NOW!_**" Squidward jumped back in surprise when he saw Shannon's furious face pressed so closely to his. Pausing for a shocked moment, he shared a bewildered look with Spongebob, then looked back at the princess.

"...Fine."

o0o

"Squidward," Spongebob scolded, looking into the sea cave that Squidward had suggested, "we can do better than that! This is a _princess_, not a juvenile criminal!"

"N-n-no, it's perfect," Shannon stuttered anxiously as the sky began to darken. "It could just use a few touches..." She looked around, then found a sheet of shale rock, picked it up, and covered the enterance of it as she swam into the cave. "Well, gentlemen, I bid thee goodnight."

"Hey, princess, you want me to read you a bedtime story?" Spongebob asked, innocence practically radiating off of his face. "I mean that cave's all dark and spooky and I can tell you about-"

"I said _goodnight!_"

Spongebob backed up from the entrance, slightly hurt at her lash back. All he wanted to do was make sure she was comfortable... At least he wasn't swinging her around like some old rag doll like Squidward had been doing. He didn't give himself much more time to ponder this, and instead walked over to a patch of kelp and laid down for a while.

o0o

Squidward was an interesting companion. He could see the stars in a whole 'nother way that Spongebob hadn't thought about before.

"And that's the oboe," Squidward explained, pointing to another group of bright white dots. "Often used to tune entire orchestras, but of course not as great as the clarinet."

"Okay, now I KNOW you're making this up!"

"No, really, see? There's the outline, and there's its double reeds."

"All I see is a bunch of little dots."

"You know, some things are more than meets the eye, Spongebob." Spongebob didn't respond, so Squidward just sighed and rolled over on his side.

"Hey, Squidward?" Spongebob finally asked after a few minutes in silence. "What are we gonna do when we get back to our reef?"

Squidward sat up with a start. "_Our_ reef?"

"Yeah, you know, after we bring the princess back to Plankton."

"Spongebob, there's no _our_, there's no _we_! There's just _me_ and _m_y reef. And the first thing _I'm_ going to do when _I _get back is put up a ten-foot fence around _my_ land."

Spongebob's ears drooped sadly. "You cut me deep, Squidward. You cut me real deep just now." Another few minutes of silence followed before Spongebob spoke again: "Y'know, I think this whole 'fence' thing is just a cleverly unclever way to keep someone out."

"Nooooooooooo, _you think_?"

"Alright, now I see what's going on!"

Squidward groaned. "Spongebob, just leave me alone."

"I'll leave you alone as soon as you quit blocking!"

"I'm not blocking!"

"Yes, I think you _are_ blocking!"

"Shut up, Spongebob!"

"Just tell me who you're trying to keep out, Squidward, tell me that much."

"_Everyone, okay?_" Squidward shouted angrily, jumping to his feet. "You stupid arrogant little-! I want to keep _everyone_ out!"

"Oh, _now_ we're getting somewhere!" Spongebob rolled his eyes and huffed. "What's your problem? What do you have against the world, Squidward? Hmm?"

"Look, I don't have anything against the world, okay? It's the world who's against me! They take one look at me and scream, 'GAH! HELP! A big, stupid ugly ogre!' Of all the types of ogres in the world, squid-ogres are the least aggressive, and yet we're thrown right in the rank of big and stupid, just because we're so ugly! _THAT'S _my problem!" Squidward caught his breath, the realization of how much he just revealed to Spongebob setting in. For some reason, though, it felt kinda good to get off his chest...

"And..." Squiddy huched over, shaking his head sadly. "...That's why I'm better off alone."

He just sat there in silence for a few minutes, then he felt a presence next to him, but didn't dare to look up anyway. Both of them sat quietly for a while, a quite which Spongebob finally broke after a few seconds:

"You know, Squidward, when I met you, that day you scared off the guards... I didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre." When Squidward refused to reply, he added, "I never have thought that."

After another moment, with a sigh of defeat, Squidward shrugged. "Yeah, I know."

"...Sooooooooooooo... Are there any sponges up in the stars? Or... Donkey-sponges?"

"Um... Yeah... There's... Well, there's... There's Kaila, the small... And... Annoying."

"Oh, okay, I think I see it now... That big shinny one, that one right there, Squidward, is that it?"

"That's the moon."

"Oh... Okay."

* * *

**Gotta hurry this up, the bell rings in 2 minutes, hope you enjoyed it, and like I always do with fanfics at the end of the chapter (dang it Vanessa! Quit messing with the keyboard!)**

**CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON. YES.**


	10. I KNOW I Got You Beat

**Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! :D I'd like to thank my last 2 reviewers- You both rock my black marching band socks! And the rest of my reviewers as well! Y'all are the reason I even continue with this story! (Yes,_ and _you, Nathan, should you happen to be reading this. XD)**

**Oh, and this opening part with Spongebob moaning in his sleep; I promised this to my buddy Pix when I first started writing this back in June. We were both watching the first Shrek movie (she lives up north and I'm here down south- We were IMing each other while watching it) and noticed something during the morning scene that she asked could be put in the story... Pix, don't think I forgot about Donkey's suggestive moaning! XD**

_**Spongebob Squarepants, Shrek,"I Think I Got You Beat", and Donkey/Spongebob's suggestive moaning do not belong to me. Shannon and some of the lines are really the only things in this story that belong to me (and my friends)...**_

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Squidward awoke the next morning to the sound of singing and Spongebob moaning suggestively in his sleep.

The first thing he heard was a voice that sounded all too familiar... At first he couldn't remember where he was, but then he recalled yesterday's events (and that oh-so-obnoxious song...) and realized who the voice belonged to.

..._Shannon? _What was she doing up singing so early? What had happened to that pessimistic mermaid he had come to know last night?

"Mmmmmm... Oh, yeah, baby, you know that's how I like it... Mmm..." Squidward turned and saw Spongebob stirring a bit in his sleep, and he couldn't help but crack a grin before confusion set in.

Wait... Shannon was singing... So she was in a good mood...? So early? Overnight? Just like that?

"Spongebob!" He hissed. "Spongebob, wake up!"

Spongebob's eyes slowly cracked open, and he looked up at Squidward with a tired, sheepish grin on his face. "Oh, mornin', Squidy. Up so early?"

"Listen!" Spongebob listened to the singing for a moment, propped up on his elbows, then yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, that's just the princess."

"But... Why is she singing?"

"Squidward, I think we've both established that she likes singing."

"But not when she's in a bad mood! She didn't sing at all yesterday for most of the trip!"

"And...?" Spongebob rolled back over on his side and closed his eyes again, desperate to go back into whatever apparently sweet dream he had been having.

"Morning, boys!"

That woke him up. "Why, good morning, princess!" Spongebob chirped as he sat straight up and smiled his sweetest smile up at her. Squidward just gave her a confused look.

"What's got you up so early?"

Shannon had her hands behind her back, smiling gently at them as she spoke. "It's just, well... We got off to such a bad start yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like I did. That was foolish of me. So I wanted to make it up to you two... After all, you _did_ rescue me! So..." She took her hands out from behind her back and revealed two flowery necklaces. "I made all of us daisy chains!"

Spongebob was happy to oblige, actually getting down on one knee in front of her as if being knighted as she placed the necklace over his head. Squidward, however, winced at the frilly accessory and whipped it off the minute she wasn't looking.

"Now," Shannon piped, swiming ahead with excitement, "let's get this day started right!"

Squidward and Spongebob shared a confused look for the umph-teenth time that week before following after her.

o0o

Squidward wasn't quite sure what was worse: A resistant Shannon or a happy-go-lucky Shannon. As they traveled, she would randomly start twirling or stop to sing with the scallops (one which she accidentally blew up when she hit a high note- Well, if there was one thing Squidward learned that day, it was that that really was possible after all). By late morning, however, she started getting a little bit easier to bear. Of course, all it took was a song...

"No matter," she said shortly after the scallop had blown up and she got some mud on her dress, "it's a beautiful day and after a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way."

She twirled on ahead until chuckling stopped her. When she turned, Spongebob's eyes went wide and he pointed at Squidward immediately.

"Gee, thanks," Squidward breathed sarcastically under his breath.

"...Why did you chuckle?" Shannon asked meekly.

"Huh? What do you mean 'why did I'?"

"I mentioned a lifetime of misery and... Well... You chuckled."

"Of course I chuckled!" Squidward chuckled again just to agitate her. "A lifetime of misery? Sure, you're funny, princess!"

Shannon scowled and put her hands on her hips. "You saw how small that room was!"

"You had everything you needed to survive!"

"But survival started to get pretty dull after a while!" She shook her head in detestment. "Sir Squidward, there are things you don't know about me. You know, about how rough I had it."

"...You know, you're right. I'm sorry," Squidward said straight-faced, sending her a look of pity. "It must've been so hard on you when you ran out of shampoo."

Shannon practically seethed, and Spongebob took a step back, fear etched into his face."

"That little cozy tower of yours," Squidward mocked, "SURELY served as a lifetime of misery!"

"Cozy? Are you KIDDING?" Shannon took a deep breath to regain her composure after her little outburst, straightening up, concealing her anger behind a blank face. "I had nothing in that tower," she sang in a made-up tune, "fighting boredom by the hour! Princess lonely, walking circles, I had only..." Squidward rolled her eyes as Shannon ticked items off on her fingers. "Bare essetnials: Army cot, a hot plate and a chamber pot, and every morning I would boil it; no choice, I had no toilet!"

She looked off into the trees as the memory of that one window rushed back into her head, and she shivered. "Just a view of devastation out one window, isolation in my bedroom, and very little headroom! Twenty years I sat and waited- I'm very dedicated- On the walls the days were added, luckily those walls were padded!"

Squidward had to force back another laugh as she tossed her head dramatically. "Soooooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" She tossed a Z-snap in Squidward's direction before turning around and swimming forward.

But this battle was _far_from over. "Pfft! I've heard better, I'm just saying," Squidward shot back. "'A' for effort, thanks for playing! Sad to see a princess suffer..." Shannon had stopped now and turned to face him, faux interest sketched onto her face, so Squdward continued. "BUT I had it rougher."

Shannon scoffed again and glared up at him. "Like that time a mob with torches burned my britches, see the scorches?" Shannon shielded her eyes as Squidward lifted up his shirttail and stuck his hip out at her. "You can look now." Shannon uncovered her eyes, cheeks flushed. Ah, innocence... "You're just whiney; I had a flaming hiney! As I fled I had to wonder, if I were torn asunder... Would an ogre go to Heaven? And, oh yeah- Did I mention I was _seven?_" Shannon was the one to roll her eyes this time. "Soooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" He attempted (rather poorly) to throw back her Z-snap from earlier, then laughed as he took the lead on the trail.

"Pfft!" Shannon growled and swam in front of him. No giving up now! "No warm regards..."

Squidward shrugged it off. "No Christmas cards..."

"And every day-"

"Was hell on earth day, yeah, yeah, I know!"

Shannon tossed back her braided hair in frustration. "Okay, top this! I missed my prom!"

"Missed your _prom?_" Squidward snorted. What kind of a great misery was _that_? "My dad and mom sent me away..." He leaned in slyly and added in a hushed whisper, as if he actually didn't want anyone else to hear: "It was my birthday!"

For a moment, Squidward was sure he had the longer end of the stick, because Shannon just stared up at him dumbfounded, mouth agape, a saddened expression in her eyes. Then, right as he was about to laugh and rub it in her face, she leaned forward even more, to where their noses were touching, and whispered: "I was sent away on Christmas Eve."

It was Squidward's turn to stare dumbfounded at her, then when he came back to his senses, he growled angrily, and she shot out a short laugh.

At that time Spongebob decided to rejoin the party, and he stepped between the two before they could start getting into any... _Physical_ fighting of the sorts. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get them to stop yelling at each other about their terrible pasts.

"Guys, guys!" He even pled with them. "We shouldn't reflect on the history that tore us apart, but embrace that which brings us together!" Of course, they ignored him.

"Oh waaaaah, I missed my prom!" Squidward mocked in a high-pitched tone as Shannon kept repeating the list of the "few" things she had in her tower.

Shannon gripped her fists tightly together to refrain from knocking him in the face and swam forward at full speed, stopping abruptly and snapping at the same time as Squidward: "My dad an mom sent me away!"

They just stood (or floated, for her case) there for a few more moments, finally having run out of things to say, fuming at each other. Neither of them were quite sure just what happened after that... It was as if their last fighting words had finally sunk in, and suddenly, instead of glaring, the looks in their eyes changed to... Wonder? Admiration? Well, whatever it was, it was certainly... Different.

"So..." Shannon started back up quietly.

"...Sooooo..."

After another pause, they sang softly together. "I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..." A smile stretched across both of their faces, and they picked up the excitment.

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"_Yeah!_"

By this point, they were practically bouncing where they stood. Whatever the anger from that little fight had gone, it had gone far, far away.

"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-"

They were abruptly cut off by a loud shriek of laughter, and when they looked over, Spongebob was collapsed on the ground, clutching his stomach, red in the cheeks.

Squidward sighed and glared at him. "What now?"

Spongebob looked up at him, tears in his eyes, and choked, "Oh... Well, I know this is kinda unfitting for the moment, but... I finally got that 'compensating' joke!"

* * *

**Ahh, Spongebob. You gotta love him. XD**

**SO, with the first semester at school coming to an end, that means that I'll be outta keyboarding class soon... Which means I won't be able to post chapters at school anymore... :( Ah well. I'll find a way.**

**And by the way, during Christmas break, I'm planning on re-writing the first 3 chapters so they'll be a little more up-to-date with the story (since they were written back in June and chapters 4 and on were started on in mid October...), so chapter 11 might not be up for a while... Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this story so far, though!**

**And since I'm having trouble with some ideas for the next chapter, I'll open up a little more; anyone have any ideas? (It's mainly gonna be Squidward, Shannon, and Spongebob's journy back to Bikini Bottom and the whole fallin'-in-love thing and... Well, if you've seen the movie you know.)**

**So until then, review if you dare! ^^**


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